its 12:30p..
i should take a nap

theres so much to do though
and i have to go back to work

i feel my body constantly being drained
which i dont think is entirely bad

theres no way i can work the amount i need to
make a movie
and expect to get a full nights rest
seven days a week

deadlines.
good.
my producer is keeping me on track.

re-wrote the script last night
well see if its the one we lock
(well, as far as the storyline and logistics go)

theres no way i could do this without my god

for the longest time
i looked for directors commentary
or blogs
or... something
that told of what they went through
when they directed their first film

i found some good commentaries
but none was of the first time directing
or of one so new in the production life

so i decided that i would
journal and write this filmmaking process
and my life in the process

this road started a year ago
much has happened
we just had our first all-together film meeting...

its really happening!
it has seemed so surreal
and i doubted through my onward steps until now
part of me knew
but much of me doubted

doubted everything

doubted gods divinity
doubted my ability
doubted provision

i tried doing it myself
and broke
and thank god for that

because no director
be he follower of christ or not
can do it alone

this is not my film
it is gods
it is theirs

every day we are given just enough
i may not be eating stale popcorn for breakfast
lunch and dinner
but i dont know how im going to get to work sometimes

but be it a day of shooting
a meeting to attend
a rehersal to observe
gas to scout locations
the strength to face my biggest fears
food to feed those who are working on this

god will provide
and he will provide just enough
like he always does

god has a purpose for this film
and god has a purpose for everyone on board