Friday, September 12, 2008

9.12.08

is this my coming out blog?
.... hmmm, lol, i think its turning into that.
started out to where i was just gonna post a journal entry
but i feel i should preface just a little...

i know a lot of people who have known me are
concerned or taken aback or...?
i dunno... *insert immeadiate reaction here*

im gay
i like girls
i always have

im sorry if that upsets you
but its who i am
and no, its not a phase...

i want to appologize for not writing some people back when they asked
and expressed their concerns or 'what the heck!'s lol
i dont take this lightly and i didnt want to reply in anything
that implied i did

with all that said,
heres where i am

i love you all.


[9-11-08]

the idea
the thought
that i am loved
just as i am
just as i come
just as i am
right now


by god
whom ive tried to please
the only father ive ever known
and i mean that

that hes okay with me
because this is just me
im finally not hiding
and all my life
i was taught to hide
but i cant
this thing inside me screams
i cant stay inside
and contort myself to what i think i should be
or what ive been taught i should be...

i feel so free

all i know is god is real
and im not who i always thought i was

and i feel loved in that
is that so wrong?

because a lot of people think so
... maybe its just me

i want to know the love of christ
and i dont feel i need to change to do that
just unlearn everything ive taught myself
and everything ive been taught

more than anything,
i want to know this love