every day i wake up
in panic or peace
a panic that begins with a gasp
that leaps into my belly
and there it stays
all day
the thoughts of all to do
and all this uncertainty
is overwhelming
so i sweat
and panic
i wake up every day
wondering if i can do this
every day
and i go on
with that gasp in my stomach
birthed at the opening of my eyes
and the ringing of the melodic tune
that wakes me every morning
i go on
one step in front of the other
maybe ill slip on these moss filled rocks
maybe ill fall to my death
but that doesnt stop me
i may not know a lot of things
but one thing i do know
is that i will not stop
that this film will not stop
---
i woke up this morning
curled up in my roomates living room chair
my neck was stiff
as were my legs
looked at the clock -- seven am
i think if i would have falen asleep anywhere else
i wouldnt have waken up, lol
i didnt sleep the night before
but an hour at most in my car
i was storyboarding --
rough, rough, rough --
the trailer park sccenes
just enough to take to a meeting i was supposed to have today
i dont know if im still meeting with them
i hope so
well see
if not, ill make the most of the time i have until work tonight
all that to say thats what brought me here this morning
i have a list of things to do --
met with ritchie flores last night
man, he knows his stuff
and i am so grateful
so i have a list
some steps to take
and all it takes for a dream to become reality
is persistance
continued persistance
i spelled independent wrong on the flyers i made
lol
just thought id share
im listening to a group called "Rue Royale"
an amazing group i might add
over a year ago
i went to see them in chicago with a friend
layout of story in hand
perpared to ask them if i could use their music for my film
we arrived just after their set
they gave us each a copy of their ep
and were flattered about their music in this film
and said they were writting some new songs too
that we may be interested in using
they are now releasing their first full length album
and heading to europe next month for shows
and here i am today
making the movie i said i would
i wonder if i thought this was where id be a year from then
i wonder what ill be thinking a year from now
time and reflection are interesting things.
